June 17, 2024

The four new NARS night series Eyeliners and a Heartbreaking call From Ryan Gosling

The four new permanent collection NARS night series Eyeliners ($24 each)
**RING! RING!**

KAREN: What up?

អត្ថបតផសាយ

RYGOS: ‘What up?’ Are you serious? Why can’t you say hey there like a normal person?

KAREN: Why can’t you stop being the subject of many Internet memes?

RYGOS: Touché…

អត្ថបតផសាយ

ឆ្មានិងគ្រឿងតុបតែងមុខរបស់ឆ្មា ??

42 ដុល្លារ

ទិញឥវ៉ាន់ឥឡូវនេះ

KAREN: Mm-hmm.

RYGOS: Can you talk for a second?

KAREN: Well, now that you ask, I’m in the middle of a review for the new NARS night series Eyeliners —

RYGOS: Cool. Hey, so —

The four completely new NARS night series Eyeliners from the fall 2014 night Caller collection
KAREN: You just interrupted me.

RYGOS: Did I?

KAREN: Yeah.

RYGOS: Sorry.

KAREN: It’s OK…

RYGOS: So do you like them?

KAREN: What?

RYGOS: The liners.

KAREN: I do. They’re these new glittery ones based on the NARS night series eyeshadows. They’re smooth and pigmented and last a long time, even on bare lids without primer. only thing is, I can’t use them on my water lines.

RYGOS: Why’s that?

KAREN: The glitter. My eyes are really sensitive, and any time I get glitter up on my water lines, they freak out. and as a general rule, you normally don’t want glitter anywhere it could scratch your eyes.

Wait a second — I know you didn’t call to talk about eyeliner and glitter, so what’s up?

RYGOS: I have some news…

KAREN: Oh, yeah? Is this legit news or the start of some BS joke on my behalf?

RYGOS: I don’t do that.

KAREN: Oh, yes you do! remember that one about the new line of luxury cat accessories you were working on with Chanel, and you were sending me and Tabs diamond-studded necklaces and collars to wear?

RYGOS: Oh…

KAREN: Yeah, I harassed the FedEx person for weeks. Weeks!

RYGOS: Hahaha! Sucker.

KAREN: I learned my lesson.

RYGOS: but I really do have news.

KAREN: OK, what’s this news? The suspense is killing me.

RYGOS: Well…it’s about me and Eva. We’re having a baby.

The NARS night series Eyeliners from the left in night Bird, night Clubbing, night porter and night Flight

KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Hello?

KAREN: Oh, very funny! You nearly got me!

RYGOS: I’m serious.

KAREN: Hahaha!

RYGOS: I’m absolutely serious. Eva is bearing the fruit of my loins.

KAREN: I’m really busy today, Ryan. I don’t have time for this so I’m hanging up now…

RYGOS: No, don’t hang up! Really, this is real. I’m not kidding.

Night Bird, a black with purple pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Really. We’re having a kid.

Night Clubbing, a black with golden pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Hello?

Night Flight, a black with cobalt blue pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Are you crying?? It sounds like you’re crying.

Night Porter, a black with green pearl
KAREN: Maybe… A little. I’m just so…happy? and shocked, you know, for you two.

RYGOS: Aw.

KAREN: Eva’s gonna be your baby mama…

RYGOS: I guess so.

KAREN: Congrats?

RYGOS: Thanks. Are you sure you’re OK? You sound a little weird.

KAREN: Me? ទេ! No, it’s just girl stuff. PMS.

RYGOS: OK.

KAREN: Hormones.

RYGOS: That’s enough now.

KAREN: Oh! I didn’t see the time. មើល​នោះ​នែ។ I really, really have to go now, Ryan. ខ្ញុំ​សុំទោស។ Congratulations though! This is great, terrific news! ពិតជា​អស្ចារ្យ! but uh, yeah, this NARS night series eyeliner I’m wearing isn’t waterproof, and I’ve got these glittery tears of joy. So, so much joy, but I’ll call you later, OK?

អត្ថបតផសាយ

**HANGS UP PHONE then GOES into THE shower room TO SOB**

អ្នកញៀនស្វ័យខ្លាចជិតខាងរបស់អ្នក

កេរ៉ែរ

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