June 17, 2024

The four new NARS night series Eyeliners and a Heartbreaking call From Ryan Gosling

The four new permanent collection NARS night series Eyeliners ($24 each)

KAREN: What up?


RYGOS: ‘What up?’ Are you serious? Why can’t you say hey there like a normal person?

KAREN: Why can’t you stop being the subject of many Internet memes?

RYGOS: Touché…


ឆ្មានិងគ្រឿងតុបតែងមុខរបស់ឆ្មា ??

42 ដុល្លារ


KAREN: Mm-hmm.

RYGOS: Can you talk for a second?

KAREN: Well, now that you ask, I’m in the middle of a review for the new NARS night series Eyeliners —

RYGOS: Cool. Hey, so —

The four completely new NARS night series Eyeliners from the fall 2014 night Caller collection
KAREN: You just interrupted me.


KAREN: Yeah.

RYGOS: Sorry.


RYGOS: So do you like them?

KAREN: What?

RYGOS: The liners.

KAREN: I do. They’re these new glittery ones based on the NARS night series eyeshadows. They’re smooth and pigmented and last a long time, even on bare lids without primer. only thing is, I can’t use them on my water lines.

RYGOS: Why’s that?

KAREN: The glitter. My eyes are really sensitive, and any time I get glitter up on my water lines, they freak out. and as a general rule, you normally don’t want glitter anywhere it could scratch your eyes.

Wait a second — I know you didn’t call to talk about eyeliner and glitter, so what’s up?

RYGOS: I have some news…

KAREN: Oh, yeah? Is this legit news or the start of some BS joke on my behalf?

RYGOS: I don’t do that.

KAREN: Oh, yes you do! remember that one about the new line of luxury cat accessories you were working on with Chanel, and you were sending me and Tabs diamond-studded necklaces and collars to wear?


KAREN: Yeah, I harassed the FedEx person for weeks. Weeks!

RYGOS: Hahaha! Sucker.

KAREN: I learned my lesson.

RYGOS: but I really do have news.

KAREN: OK, what’s this news? The suspense is killing me.

RYGOS: Well…it’s about me and Eva. We’re having a baby.

The NARS night series Eyeliners from the left in night Bird, night Clubbing, night porter and night Flight

KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Hello?

KAREN: Oh, very funny! You nearly got me!

RYGOS: I’m serious.

KAREN: Hahaha!

RYGOS: I’m absolutely serious. Eva is bearing the fruit of my loins.

KAREN: I’m really busy today, Ryan. I don’t have time for this so I’m hanging up now…

RYGOS: No, don’t hang up! Really, this is real. I’m not kidding.

Night Bird, a black with purple pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Really. We’re having a kid.

Night Clubbing, a black with golden pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Hello?

Night Flight, a black with cobalt blue pearl
KAREN: (…)

RYGOS: Are you crying?? It sounds like you’re crying.

Night Porter, a black with green pearl
KAREN: Maybe… A little. I’m just so…happy? and shocked, you know, for you two.


KAREN: Eva’s gonna be your baby mama…

RYGOS: I guess so.

KAREN: Congrats?

RYGOS: Thanks. Are you sure you’re OK? You sound a little weird.

KAREN: Me? ទេ! No, it’s just girl stuff. PMS.


KAREN: Hormones.

RYGOS: That’s enough now.

KAREN: Oh! I didn’t see the time. មើល​នោះ​នែ។ I really, really have to go now, Ryan. ខ្ញុំ​សុំទោស។ Congratulations though! This is great, terrific news! ពិតជា​អស្ចារ្យ! but uh, yeah, this NARS night series eyeliner I’m wearing isn’t waterproof, and I’ve got these glittery tears of joy. So, so much joy, but I’ll call you later, OK?


**HANGS UP PHONE then GOES into THE shower room TO SOB**



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